Thursday, March 26, 2009

Just one more....

Really? Am I too old? I can't shake this feeling that I want one more. Just one more. If the octumom can have 14 - is it really too much to ask for 3? I keep getting shut down. The man is stubborn. And although I'm not too old - my clock is ticking. His isn't, but mine is. Tick tick tick. Getting louder every day. I'm constantly drawn to baby clothes and tiny shoes as I walk though Target. I long for that feeling of a tiny life growing in my belly. Have I lost my mind? Because I see my girls growing bigger and more independent every day. Things are easier and I cherish that life is getting less complicated as we pass on our baby stuff and finish with potty training and enjoy sleeping through the night. And Sam is such a joy now. Turning four is the best thing that ever happened to her. I can't get enough of her and Sydney these days. They're amazing girls. And I see how hard that man of mine works, the stress he endures, and the fact that he is done. I get it. It has to be something we both want. So what is this? Nature's way of making me forget all the craziness to keep the world populated? Is it the loneliness of moving away from my family and friends? Or is it that I really do need one more baby to complete the family? Sigh. I don't know but I wish either my husband would cave or the feeling would pass. Because fighting back tears at the sight of newborn footed pajamas is not much fun. So I've been thinking that maybe a puppy would cure me of this need. Oh honey??


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